Throughout my childhood and teenage years, my Mum would get her fortune told and often share her stories with me. There was one particular time she told me of how she saw a psychic and asked about her daughter’s future profession, in which the psychic replied “There are 9 professions in this world but your daughter will create the 10th one”.
I believe that psychic did me a favour because I had no idea what career I wanted to pursue but I knew what I didn’t want to pursue, there was no way I’d be a doctor, lawyer or accountant. Being Asian and attending Mac.Rob High School, it was almost a given that you would be in one of those professions otherwise you’d be a sore disappointment. Luckily, this lovely psychic had planted a seed in my head and also my mothers, so I was let off the hook to do whatever I wanted.
I remember thinking to myself what that 10th profession would be, so decided to go with my gut instinct and not follow the norm. Not really knowing what I wanted to do, I sought inspiration from my Uncle who was an IT Consultant and I thought I could really enjoy what he does – he travels a lot, works about 6 months of the year and earns mountains of money. Dream job. And so I studied Business Information Systems at Uni. And you know the rest of my story because eventually… I created my own profession.
I believe that fortune tellers, psychics, tarot card readers – they can’t really predict the future. They are seed planters. They plant a seed of a vision of the future which you keep focusing on and of course, whatever you focus on all the time, most definitely will come true.
So the question begs, can you predict the future? To some extent, yes you can predict the future.
“Our life is a manifestation, and we can very well make that manifestation beautiful and meaningful and have a good influence.” Thich Nhat Hanh
The Art of Manifesting Love
Sup single folks. If you’re ready and have worked through your issues of emotional unavailability or even not, I suggest doing this Love List. Writing down the qualities of that special person you want to attract in your life is quite powerful. I’m not talking about a bullshit shallow checklist where you write down “I want a man that is tall, dark and handsome with a 6-pack and likes to go hiking” If you raise your level of consciousness and really dig deep to ask yourself – your being, your essence or what Oprah calls your core of peace – what do you appreciate in this person you are yet to meet?
I did this again (your list changes as you mature and realise that superficial qualities are just that) only about a month ago and it’s amazing that what you put out into the Universe, it will deliver. It’s still early days but the work I’m doing on myself, day in and day out, is slowly but surely paying off. We often work on our businesses, career, and on giving to others but when do we sit down and work on ourselves? I definitely hadn’t been doing it for a very long time and finally in the last 12 months, I’ve decided to put myself first. Get myself on that path of spiritual awakening some might say and fuck does it feel good.
There are times where I have felt torn that I’m being so selfish and worried what others would say but the world did not end. I feel happier, less stressed and I’ve transformed as a person. I’m now closer to the best version of me so that I can give more of myself to the world and to the person I’m meant to fall in love with.
The minute I heard my first love story
I started looking for you, not knowing
how blind that was.
Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere.
They’re in each other all along.
As I don’t watch TV and only stream the odd Game of Thrones and Greys, my downtime activities are listening to podcasts and more recently, reading poetry. Except it’s the new age Instagram poetry. Short and sweet but hits the heart and gives you the feels. I find that it makes you ponder, gently encourages your mind to expand. In particular, I enjoy reading poetry and quotes on love.
Human beings need love, they crave it. No matter how isolated, unloving and cold someone might seem – there is an element of love they long for. I must say, I’ve been quite obsessed with the topic of love and uncovering layers of what it is which is probably a daft thing to do because it’s the most elusive word on the planet. But I can’t help it as it’s so fascinating to me and I’m never bored. It’s a bit like cupcakes, when I get obsessed with something I just roll with it. I’m all in like that.
I’ve had many relationships in my lifetime. Short, long. Soft, intense. Calm, cyclonic. Admittedly, I’ve never really said to any of my ex-boyfriends in person that I loved them. I might loosely say, I love that about you or imply it but never those three words directly to them and mean it.
At my group med session tonight Laura, my Vedic teacher, touched on the subject of love, falling in love.
The act of falling in love with someone comes from falling in love with layers of them, that are layers and aspects that you love about yourself.
The last 8 months has been wonderful for me, tumultuous but wonderful. I mentioned that I had met my soultmate in one of my previous post and League article. My first reaction was to run for the hills when I connected with him at such an instant and with such ease, nothing was ever forced. The universe likes to present us with great learning lessons and meeting your soulmate was never going to be just a pleasant, carefree experience. All positives need to come with the negatives, the good with the bad, the blissful happiness with the bleeding heart lows. It was extremely challenging and I wanted to walk away every other week. And where I’m at now…well let’s just say I understand the expression it’s all about timing.
Letting someone special go is always hard and it made me wonder, was what I felt really…real? What if I made it all up in my head, conjured these feelings and it was a fantasy world? Sometimes it feels easy to dismiss feelings and events, merely to protect our vulnerable selves. Oh, we weren’t all that in love, I deserve better anyhow.
We almost feel stupid and blind for falling in love with somebody. How could I fall in love with a selfish prick like him? Clearly I was seeing the world through rose tinted glasses.
Well life has given me another lesson and this time, unlike all the other times where I’ve dismissed what the relationship really was, tonight I’ve accepted it for what it is. It wasn’t because I was stupid I fell for someone. It was real, as real as the air we breathe. It was because I was finally falling in love with myself. He made me realise all the parts of me I’ve forgotten to love and never loved.
The cliche saying we must love ourselves first, in order to deeply love others is a cliche for a reason, because it’s #thetruth. I’ve heard it time and time again, yeah of course I love myself, I’m fairly confident, I don’t hate myself and am quite optimistic. However, when it came to relationships, I was emotionally unavailable and it took me years to figure it out.
This is why I highly recommend keeping a journal because you can usually read through your years of experience and see history repeating itself. Until you recognise and become aware of that pattern, you will continue in this lifetime, the next lifetime until you have that courage to breakthrough.
So tonight, I realised it’s okay to say you are in love, you were in love, you loved somebody with all of your heart. That feeling is as real as you want it to be and what is more beautiful than being able to feel wholeheartedly that you were truly in love? That’s the gift I’m giving myself.
Love is an untamed force. When we try to control it, it destroys us. When we try to imprison it, it enslaves us. When we try to understand it, it leaves us feeling lost and confused.
– Paulo Coelho
Some references on love should you want to explore…
- How to make relationships work: Learn how to love and be loved – Anne Geraghty (Highly recommend this book)
- The Breakthrough Experience – Dr. John Demartini
- What is love?
- Soulmates and Life Partners
- Some Instagram accounts I enjoy are @rupikaur_ @langleav @r.h.sin @silentperception @momentaryhappiness @kissesandmartini @misssaywhatsreal
Yo, what’s up world. Yeh, this blog I started last year had a good run with a total of two posts. 2015 was the year of let’s not get shit done. Okay, to be fair to myself, it was a year of self discovery and development for me. Although I may not have much “success” or material things (like new stores or shiny objects) to show for 2015, I honestly feel as though I’ve grown emotionally and spiritually. It was the year I checked out and floated through life to figure who the fuck I was. Seriously, I had forgotten who I was and what made me hum anymore. I wasted a whole year and if I were to do it all again, I’d do the same damn thing.
The latter end of 2015, I found what I was truly passionate about. I decided to finally move on from my long-term relationship and work on being a better business partner. I decided to live a life for me. I finally learnt how to meditate consistently. I met my soul mate. I discovered what Earth shattering mind-blowing sex feels like (TMI but shit, when you experience it you would tell the world too). I took back my weekends and stopped working as much. I started journaling like crazy. I went on a perception-changing trip with Project Gen Z and met some beautiful children. I became the CEO of The League in Dec 2015 because I discovered that this was the way in which I could fulfil my dream to help change the world.
Well now that I look back on 2015 it wasn’t a waste of time.
It was my breakthrough year that would set me up for the next 7 years. It’s as if I had to reset my foundation of life so I can now go full steam ahead to hit every goal, dream and access my infinite potentiality.
The #majorkeys to my breakthroughs were things that have taken me years, if not my whole life to realise what was stopping me. Some of these I’m on my way to healing or resolving, others it’s just starting. As they say, the first step to recovery is admitting we have a problem right?
- I’m attracted to emotionally unavailable men. Yeah, I know what you’re thinking everybody loves the bad boys. It’s a challenge. You gotta risk it to get the biscuit. Well, after my last failed relationship I started seeing a reoccurring pattern in all the men I have dated in my life. It goes a something like dis…as soon as I know a guy is keen as mustard, I would run for the hills and not look back. However, if I can sense a little bit of resistance, perhaps a bit of I’m not ready or simply I’m a fuckboy, ding ding my ears prop up and this man seems all the more alluring to me. Why is this so? I’m attracted to them because *pin drop moment* I am emotionally unavailable and deep down don’t want to open up to someone enough to experience real love. Fk that’s deep.
- I am a great leader and I am enough. Seriously, there are going to be people that want to bring you down not because you’re not good enough but because of their own insecurities. Sometimes, it is the closest people around you that will say mean things to you because they’re just shit scared just like you and not wanting to admit it. I remember my first boss told me “I had the potential to be good at what I was doing” and didn’t recognise any of my efforts. That haunted me for 8 years until I built a business of my own. I was told that I could never be a good leader or boss because people hated me. It took me a couple of years to work on it and even went to Tony Robbins UPW again to eradicate this thought. I now know that I am a great leader and that person might still remind me of the person I was but it does not phase me because I have grown and I am no longer that person. It’s not my fault they love to live in the past and push blame on others.
- Put yourself in their shoes. To truly understand how I could be a better leader and boss (hate that word but whatevs) I started to stop for a second and put myself in their shoes. Try to see it from their perspective. I try not to criticise (still a shit hard thing to do) and instead look at a solution. Complaining is fun but at the end of the day it just fucks you up and doesn’t get you a step closer to doing anything about it. So we can sit here and complain all day, be caught up in a negative storm or we can do something about it. I do like a wine and whine session now and then because this lets you whine to a trusted friend rather than pushing negativity onto staff or people around you that look up to you.
I’m not going to promise more blog posts regularly. To be honest this is just my ‘online personal journal’ so I’m not going to actively share this around. After all I have a profesh brand to uphold and all this swearing & talking about mind-blowing sex is going to make people think differently about me. Actually, I don’t care. You know why? Because I’ve done too many years thinking about what others think of me and at the end of the day life is short and if people are going to judge me or hate me, it makes no difference. All I know is that by being me, sharing my vulnerabilities and stories can inspire others to do the same.
A cliche bomb is coming….
If we’re just honest with ourselves and tell ego to fuck off, we can bring that little bit of magic inside us into the world. The world needs you and your magic.
Look at me, pretending to work. No actually, these days I’ve been working harder.
When people tell me how they think I’m quite the driven, motivated and inspiring person, I can’t help but scrunch up my eye like I have a twitch. No I’m not winking at them, it’s my weird facial reaction to feeling like I’m a fraud and that they’re going to find out. Okay… so over time I’ve learnt to accept that, if I can show others that a normal person like me has been able to follow my dream and that it isn’t impossible, it’s a good thing. That’s why I continue to speak at events and tell people my story. I actually hate talking about myself and the perceived egotism that may stem from speaking gigs. But deep down, fears aside, I know that my experience may help others on their journey. So I keep going.
There are days where I just don’t want to face the world and would rather hide under the doona where I can induce lucid dreams for hours. Yes, inducing lucidity becomes much easier when you have your snooze alarm going off every 15 minutes. I only figured this out because there has been numerous days where I hit snooze for about…oh let’s say 1-2 hours after my planned waking time. Yep, I’m a lazy mofo.
Then there are days when I wake up very early, excited to take on the day like a superhero. I’m super fucking productive and feel like I’m on a high all day. I know it’s not caffeine making me glee as a bee as I can only drink one coffee a day.
So what’s the difference between Snoozy Shez and Super Shez? I get into these phases in life and just like the cliche that rings true, life has it’s ups & downs. So when I’m feeling down or uninspired I know that I need to spend some time alone and figure some shit out. I need to find sources of inspiration that will make me Super Shez again. The last few months have been Snoozy Shez but things are slowly changing. SLOW but at least I’m not going backwards. I think anyone that tells you that they’re SUPER all the time are losers, egotistical losers. Except Tony, he is always super and I love him for it.
I want to share my sources of inspiration so that if you feel Snoozy too, you can start feeling Super again. Once you get that momentum ball rolling, it gets exponentially easier each week. Then you have to ride that wave, ride it hard and fly. It feels amazing.
- Books \ \ I’ve recently read or half read Daring Greatly by Brene Brown, Think & Grow Rich (again), Not That Kind of Girl by Lena Dunham (yep I’m a GIRLS fan), The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. I’m normally a snail reader but I literally tripled my reading time using Tim’s speed reading method a few days ago, I still need to practise but I realised how little faith I had in my brain to speed up and absorb.
- Podcasts \ \ Holy shit, why has it taken me this long to figure out how great they are. It’s so easy to download. If you have an iPhone, d/l on iTunes or if you’re Android use Podcast Republic. Search for The Tim Ferriss Show first then search Serial – This American Life FML so good, I did 12 hour mara over 3 days as I was recommended by two of my best buds to listen to it. It’s like watching a thrilling series but you’re listening to it instead. (well no shit)
- Events \ \ Attended quite a few conferences and events recently ranging from eCom, tech, entrepreneur/business talks, Investor meetups. Some I get invited to, others I’ve had to research or had others recommend them to me. I’ve had such a great source of inspiration from these events, such as listening to how BaubleBar started up, how far my friends at Stylerunner have come, meeting Shark Tank judge Steve Baxter, found out what my “why” is and connected with some acquaintances that have become great friends.
- EO \ \ Recently joined Entrepreneur’s Organization that has been a life changing experience so far. Imagine being in a group where you can share your deepest darkest entrepreneurial and life fears that you can’t share anywhere else but trust every person as it is all in confidence. Yeah it’s pretty much AA for entrepreneurs, it’s fucking fabulous because you start to realise you’re not the only crazy mother effer who is running a company more than $1m turnover. You also get to meet people on the same wave length and it’s refreshing. Somehow you just get each other and that in itself makes you feel that you’re not alone.
What I shouldn’t be doing..
Watching Grey’s Anatomy. Shonda, Shonda, Shonda do you get a kick out of toying with our emotions? McDreamy could have just gone to DC for years just like how Yang left. To be honest I bawled my eyes out and I didn’t even do that for F7 at the end.
Fall down the rabbit hole of Facebook, Insta and reading FLUFF. Fk, I’m such a sucker for clickbait. Must. stop. clicking. shitty. clickbait. headlines. But I really want to know the name of the Royal baby. *Click*, see you in 30 minutes.
Start the day without planning. Before I know it the day is almost through and I’ve just blinked. I don’t think I’ve experienced a day, in a very very long time, where I wish time would go faster. Except when I have my PT sessions, each minute feels like ten. I don’t know why but it just does.
Sleeping after midnight. When I sleep after midnight, I don’t get enough sleep and I don’t wake up early enough. SHIT it is 12.45am.
Ok bye. FTR this was a very long post as I took 3 days to try to remember my password and then I gave up and reset it so I could finally blog. Part of me was like wtf I can’t be that forgetful as I just created my account and I only have 3 variations of passwords (I guess now I need to have 4) and I was too stubborn to hit “forgot my password”.
I remember when I was a child, not too sure what age to be honest but I think 8 is a good guess, my parents asked me what I wanted to do and what I wanted to be. Of course, with an Asian background – I’m Chinese Vietnamese and born in Australia, I think my parents and grandparents were grooming me to aspire to be a Doctor or a Lawyer. My answer was instinctively
I want to change the world
Now to be honest, I cannot remember if I said that out loud or not but I do know that it was what I wanted to do because to this day…it’s still my why. I also remember that I told them I wanted to be a fashion designer – parents had a textile company prior to all the manufacturing moving to China. Not too sure if they were impressed with that answer but I remember they let me sew tiny clothes for my Barbie dolls on their industrial sewing machines. I guess I was talented as I didn’t sew holes into my fingers.
I was inspired to start blogging today as I was listening to Tim Ferriss’ podcast with Maria Popova in the car on the way to Ultimate You for my PT session. It’s about a 45 min drive (I know wtf, but seriously UY and my PT Jim gives me results) and I normally listen to the radio or Spotify. I recently stopped doing that and started listening to eBooks and Podcasts to feed my brain every day. After listening to Maria and about how her blog Brain Pickings started, it made me realise how much I missed blogging, like really sharing shit from my soul. I love sharing things I learn and especially inspirations that trigger my life changing epiphanies. I normally share these on my personal FB page, through whatsapp to my close friends, email, tags on social platforms and so forth. And then I had a revelation, what if those people didn’t really care about what I had to share? I mean my good friends would let me know if they had zero care factor but I mean what if I was just coming across as annoying to others? Or what if others (randoms) found what I learnt…interesting?
Either way, I decided blogging is good for me. I love journaling but usually my journaling is about my whirlwind of a love life (read: non existent) and how I should love myself blah blah. But a blog is different, I can write about my experiences, my learnings and whether or not if anyone reads it, I sort of feel that the world wide web will keep me accountable. You know, that whole practise what you preach thing.
I do have a blog on both CC and the League but it’s different as I don’t think I can be as vulnerable and I also like to swear a lot. So I want my own space to swear a lot, be daring and vulnerable and make people laugh. Deep down I know I am funny when I write, no one laughs at my jokes in person but I know when I write I’m one hilarious person, just you wait.
I used to have a blog over at sherylscupcakes.blogspot.com but I was a different person then. I’m 7 years older and hopefully wiser.